Monday, August 15, 2011

English ah?

Before I start, this isn’t abt “a particular” conversation. Just phone convos of late.

It has been a while since I socialised with my “kind”, and there is strange sense of vast emptiness that has developed of late and it is becoming increasingly difficult to say “ hi, how are ya” without feeling nervous. Does it sound right? Is he/she feeling it? Are they mad at me for not being in touch? Do I sound desperate? Does my English sound right?

DOES MY ENGLISH SOUND RIGHT?!

I have been interacting with a lot of labourers on site.(yes I am an architect/contractor).My job involves conversing with the labourers on site in their local languages… KANNADA AND TAMIL. NOT FUN!! When you don’t have a good control over the language, it is not the coolest feeling when you know the experts in the audience are mocking you with words you wish you understood.. And here I am trying to learn their way of life and their style of speech…

The tragedy is when you aren’t practising a language, over a period of time you forget. And I guess that’s what’s happening to my ENGLISH now. You don’t forget words or the grammar.. You just forget how to speak or reply or respond APPROPRIATELY.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

The deal between God and Lucifer

So here is a theory I have proposed. I have shared it with some people. Some disagreed, some found it amusing, very few said , it could mean something. It could just be a figment of my imagination. But nonetheless I thought it would be worth sharing.

If you are a religious person, id supposed or rather take for granted that you believe that God exists. Well the account for my theory is based on Christianity specifically. I cannot judge for other religions.

So God created us. I want to believe He did, but with what purpose. The bible says to love our God with all that is within us and to love our neighbour as our self. But I often wondered if this was just a test by which God wanted to ascertain something. This thought troubled me and I tried piecing together random parts of the bible trying to find the answer. Maybe I’ve got it wrong; maybe there wasn’t the need to ascertain the fact at all. But I’m curious by nature J

The bible says that God had his angels with him even before the world was created. There were millions of them I supposed. They were designed to serve God all the days of their lives. But then one day Mr Lucifer decided to do things a bit differently. Lucifer, yea I’m talking about the devil himself. He was one of highly revered angels among God’s troop and held a very high position. He one day decided to defy God. He wanted what God had. He wanted to be God! But of course God would not allow that. So Lucifer was banished (or chose to leave, not too sure about that).

Well up till here everyone who calls themselves a Christian knows this story. But I want to elaborate or rather try and imagine what might have happened after that. The story:

So Lucifer now had drawn God’s wrath upon him and he told God that now that he has been asked to leave he would make a deal with God. All the other angels who were watching this were shocked at the change of scene; God’s beloved angel was challenging him. So Lucifer told God that He was to leave then he wanted a part of angels to leave with him. He wanted his own entourage to rule over. But God was not so easily moved. He told Lucifer, if that is what he wants, he should let the angels decide for themselves. But Heaven was a place where the angels were not aware of good or evil. They were very pure beings, very holy. So decided to create an environment where they could exercise free will. A contained space where God could watch closely those who really wanted to follow Him and those wanted to take to Lucifer’s path.

God created the world in seven days (says the Bible), but for God (as the bible says) one day is like many years in the life of a person. So I would like to believe that it is a few million human years which should sort of support the big bang theory. Come to think of the theory , even if what exists today popped out of one single atom , I would like to believe that something out there ( I believe its God himself) gave it the touch of energy that was required to produce our beautiful universe. Eventually our earth was created and god made man and woman… But they were like any other creature out there, fending for themselves. Wild things. “Then God breathed life into these beings”.. yea He put some soul into them! He introduced the divine energy that we call angels into every living man and woman. Our bodies were so awesomely designed to decide what write and wrong, but our souls ultimately decided whether we stick to the right or we stick to the wrong. I believe our conscience is our soul. I don’t believe that any animal or insect possess a soul. What we ‘need’ is determined by our worldly bodies. What we ‘want’ is determined by our souls.

Ok so that was a bit of hard talk. If you don’t sorta agree with what I have written so far, then read no further. Cause otherwise you would want to argue with me and I’m no good with arguments and since this theory is something that I have imagined, I’d say chill.

Continuing. We are living on planet earth, eating sleeping, doing whatever. And we are faced with a lot of decisions. In the meantime Mr Lucifer of course has his ploys. He is constantly on the move . He works through subtle temptations. He is also figured out ways of penetrating our conscience ( our pure side),telling us in a gentle manner that its ok to do evil. One bite , what harm can it do. But one bite everyday then ads and you find yourself in a terrible situation only when it too late . then you know that he has trapped you. But its too late. It was part of the deal. God had told him that he would let the people decide for themselves, Hell or Heaven.

Now don’t turn around and tell me it’s the devil’s fault. He planted the seed no doubt , but YOU made the choices.. YOU and YOU alone. CHOICES.. That the freedom we have! That is the ultimate freedom.

In the old testament of the Bible, a lot of people lost track of how to make choices. A lot of people forgot that there were two greater beings watching closely to see which side they would head. God felt sorry for all the people that were making the wrong choices. He said I think it’s time I sent someone out there to give them a reality check. So Jesus his chosen Son was sent to earth. Now you might ask , God should have probably shown himself with a some thunder and flash of lights and people would be jolted back into doing good. But that would have kinda defeated the purpose for which he sent us to earth in the first place. People had to still choose you see. So jesus came as a humble being , born to a carpenter family. And eventually people came to know that he was God’s son . Not everyone believed , but he knew that he had planted a seed and that it would grow and people would be aware. And our devil here ofcourse had to interfere again. He even tried to tempt Jesus one day by telling him that if He bowed down to the devi l, then he would give him all the land that was seen up till the horizon ( the scene in which this event takes place is on top of a mountain). But Jesus refuses. And the devil torments him but he comes out the situation by God’s grace. Later on after 33 years of preaching and teaching Jesus died on the cross. But he left a promise, That whosoever believes in Him( Jesus) will find their way to heaven. Yet again a choice. Those who believed in Him , when they died , their next destination was heaven.

Ah now you might be thinking, what happened to judgement day. I was coming to that.

I believe that outside this body of ours , outside this universe, there does not exist a dimension called TIME. Because if it did , then God couldn’t have created our world in seven days (this part is debatable, I have yet to find proof).So when we die , God talks about a day when He shall come back again and all the dead will rise and He will pass judgement on them. I think that when we die , our souls are free from the dimension of time. Our souls face judgement the minute we die. SO yea as you are reading this , some dead peoples souls are being judged! (I do not mean to scare you)

So when our souls go back to God , we give an account of all that we have done in the environment that we were placed in. We give an account of all the good and all the bad CHOICES we have made. And then God decides whose party you join. The devil doesn’t really need your company. He just enjoys torturing souls. That’s his hobby or so I hear. On the other hand , God rewards those who have made the right choices, and by right choices I mean , choices that please god , choice of following Jesus into heaven. Our reward is eternal life. He will create a new world for us , where there is no death , no hunger , no temptations… no devil . (Maybe another big bang , cause after all , big bangs are created when the universe eventually dies ,i.e. exhausted of all the gases that are required to be burned to keep the universe afloat and everything burns till the last atom. There is such a great energy within that atom that it burst all over again, creating planets all over again)…

Maybe the big bang atom is just some play object that god has in him show case. He probably likes creating planets . Imagine the earth in all its beauty. God must be some insane genius eh! Many more big bangs to come I suppose. But I guess just this once he thought that he should put our souls in the middle of it to test us… if we wanted to be where he is or where the fiery flames of hell are.

Have you made your choice??

God is waiting….

And so is the devil…

Saturday, May 2, 2009

..... its TIME..

"The only reason for time is so that everything does'nt happen at once"


"Nannu!!! its 6:30!! TIME to wake up!! "...says my mom every other day of my life...! a time to eat, a time to sleep , a time to study..a time to do talk , a time to shut up , a time to loaf............... a time to do everything, excepting all the nothing in the world!!!!

................(.. hm.. )

so i started off on a bad note... maybe dats coz im so mad at the fact dat by the time i say "TIME",..one second... one precious second has drifted by... so silent.. so easily forgotten... so wat if i had picked up all the lost "seconds " in my life.... wat if i had put them in my piggy bank.. kept it in my savings account... withdrawn it with a credit card when i thought i was running out of "time".... maybe , just maybe.... i could have rewritten my wrongs, i could have said the necessary sorrys, i could have had more frends and less enemies, i could have used all those wasted weekends, i could have had more family time,.. i could have hugged my grandpa before he died...........


"time and tide wait for none".........

Time n i.. the twin sisters.. stuck together for life..she lets me experience happiness, sadness, love, pain...she is there when my soul needs to heal, to rejuvinate.. she makes the changes... she is the CHANGE... her presence encompasses me thru life..she makes me, she breaks me....all for the better.she gives me oppurtunities iv never dreamed off and takes me to places iv never been...


tick tick tick... shes chuckling at me :) i look up at the clock and she is smiling... its 10:!0...!!







Sunday, March 8, 2009

kindergarten...



A time in life...

...when a mother's voice is most reassuring after a bad fall,
...where everything touched has a life of its own,
...where one's a 'police' and there is no shortage of 'robbers',
...when a bucket of tears was the order of the day,
...when bugs bunny was an optimist and daffy duck a pessimist,
...when doctors sprang from hell and babies dropped from heaven,
...when rewards 'tasted sweet' and a swing ride gave one a high,
...when the teddy bear guarded all the secrets and kept the boogieman away while asleep,
...when dashing cars thrills and every frock had frills,
...when a carrot added and inch and a toothache cured by a sugar pinch,
...when innocence was at its peak!!

...when i thought i was right and you were wrong,
...when i was trying to be right and thought you were all wrong,
...when i was (actually) wrong, and you (mom and dad) were (always) right! :)

Friday, March 6, 2009

...why?


In the quiet stilnes that calms her soul,
It is death that is knocking at her door.
She paces up and down the banks,
It is restlessness and hunger pangs.


She sits beside an ignorant child,
Sunbathes her feet with a silent smile,
What pain she feels she cannot confide,
She is aware of 'him','he's ' always by her side.


She dawns a red shawl across her face,
And talks to others who share her fate.
"Why this oh lord? " , she speaks in fear,
"My disease consumes me, I plead, do hear"


But only time can tell , she'd have to wait.
Its death alone that has sealed her fate.
She holds onto life and braves the pain,
In time she will find peace and let go of life's reins...



After spending 2 days at a hospice for terminally ill patients , i realized that we often take our lives for granted.. The people there are aware that their death is eminent.. but its in those days, those last few days when they reflect on their lives, are surrounded by all the family members and showered with love, every last wish of theirs is fulfilled before they depart forever...
Why wait for situations such as these to get you to your senses, to remind u that every minute counts.. Its all about living in the moment...

Thursday, March 5, 2009

....its TIME..

"The only reason for time is so that everything does'nt happen at once"


"Nannu!!! its 6:30!! TIME to wake up!! "...says my mom every other day of my life...! a time to eat, a time to sleep , a time to study..a time to do talk , a time to shut up , a time to loaf............... a time to do everything, excepting all the nothing in the world!!!!

................(.. hm.. )

so i started off on a bad note... maybe dats coz im so mad at the fact dat by the time i say "TIME",..one second... one precious second has drifted by... so silent.. so easily forgotten... so wat if i had picked up all the lost "seconds " in my life.... wat if i had put them in my piggy bank.. kept it in my savings account... withdrawn it with a credit card when i thought i was running out of "time".... maybe , just maybe.... i could have rewritten my wrongs, i could have said the necessary sorrys, i could have had more frends and less enemies, i could have used all those wasted weekends, i could have had more family time,.. i could have hugged my grandpa before he died...........


"time and tide wait for none".........javascript:void(0)

Time n i.. the twin sisters.. stuck together for life..she lets me experience happiness, sadness, love, pain...she is there when my soul needs to heal, to rejuvinate.. she makes the changes... she is the CHANGE... her presence encompasses me thru life..she makes me, she breaks me....all for the better.she gives me oppurtunities iv never dreamed off and takes me to places iv never been...


tick tick tick... shes chuckling at me :) i look up at the clock and she is smiling... its 10:!0...!!